Not Falling for That Again!
– “@cheatsoflife: Tilting your head to the right and slightly up makes you look more attractive.”
I’m submitting to be the photographer for the Subway sandwich menus. What do you think? (I didn’t have a fake sandwich like they use in their pics, so I had to use the real one)
This picture will restore your faith in mankind. It’s a man helping his best friend as he tries to drown his cat:
Not as Much fun in the rain with the top down.
Even though the sign said “Sidewalk Closed”, I needed to get deodorant, so I braved the icy path to the convenience store. Several times on my journey I slipped on the ice and fell on my ass. On the way back,I decided to take a different path, and found one that had footprints, so I chose the path more traveled by. 10 feet into my journey, I slipped again and fell on my ass, and that’s when I realized that what I had seen were my own footprints.
Everyone just laughed at Le Pétomane when he farted “La Marseillaise” through a rubber tube in his anus. But it turns out that he was right.
500 years ago Cortés overthrew the Aztec army and won Mexico for the Spanish crown, and his laundry was done by Milt and Edie.
Next time you don’t win something, just remember that Peter O’Toole never won an academy award and say “It’s all bullshit” and go out and drink your face off.
How’s that honor system working for you guys?
And by “innovate”, we mean stealing a tired slogan from an old Kevin Costner movie.